Me: So my Uncle Louie wanted to be in the “101st Airborne Division”comingbackdown wrote: Spot on! Also: Don't make the terrible mistake of using a screwdriver with metal in the handle... I remember an occasion where the old Farmall was being worked on... I think dad and the neighbor were doing a spark test or something similar... Anyway, the neighbor was holding the channel locks that the insulation had worn off of on the bottom of the grips... He must've jumped four feet...
You: What’s that?
Me: It’s the group in the US Army that is trained to parachute into enemy territory.
You: Sounds daring.
Me: Oh, it is. They have higher physical and mental standards to pass and you have to learn to parachute.
You: Wow, how did THAT go?
Me: Not so good.
You: How so?
Me: When the plane flew over the jump zone, Uncle Louie hooked up his ripcord line and shuffled to the door of the plane, like all the guys did, but when he got to the door of the plane, he had a panic attack and couldn’t get himself to jump out.
You: That’s no good.
Me: No kiddin’. He just spread his legs out and arms out wider than the doorway and wouldn’t go.
You: Holding up all the guys in line behind him, right?
Me: Yeah. The Jump Sgt. Came up behind him and commanded him to jump, but he refused.
You: Refused a direct order?
Me: Yeah. So then the Jump Sgt. grabs his combat knife and cuts off the seat of Uncle Louie’s fatigue pants, drops his own drawers and says “If you don’t jump outta this plane, I’m gonna stick my fat dick up your ass.”
You: DID HE JUMP?
Me: Yeah, a little at first.
