Sensible commentary on automatic transmissions

Off-topic posts, quotes of the day and anything else you just would like to vent to the world. PG-13 or below PLEASE!
Post Reply
User avatar
ClutchFork
Master Standardshifter
Posts: 1935
Joined: Wed Mar 06, 2013 2:55 pm
Cars: 2008 Fusion 2.3L manual
Location: Detroit MI

Sensible commentary on automatic transmissions

Post by ClutchFork »

Stick shiftin since '77
theholycow wrote:Why in the world would you even want to be as smooth as an automatic? Might as well just drive an automatic...
User avatar
theholycow
Master Standardshifter
Posts: 16021
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:36 pm
Cars: '80 Buick LeSabre 4.1 5MT
Location: Glocester, RI
Contact:

Re: Sensible commentary on automatic transmissions

Post by theholycow »

1980 Buick LeSabre 4.1L 5MT

Put your car in your sig!

Learn to launch/FAQs/lugging/misused terms: meta-sig
watkins wrote:Humans have rear-biased AWD. Cows have 4WD
User avatar
mtheis
Master Standardshifter
Posts: 1512
Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2006 10:06 pm
Cars: 07 Corolla, 76 Celica
Location: Austin, TX
Contact:

Re: Sensible commentary on automatic transmissions

Post by mtheis »

Definition #2:
"Really awsome [sic] cars like a Toyota Celica can be found with this type of transmission."

:D 8)
2007 Corolla
2017 Cannondale Quick 3
1995 Tercel
1976 Celica GT
Unofficial SS.com IRC Server
Driving stick since March 20, 2002
Official lurker
User avatar
Shadow
Master Standardshifter
Posts: 3384
Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:51 am
Location: New York

Re: Sensible commentary on automatic transmissions

Post by Shadow »

I realize that's a joke, but I also believe there are people who think like that. For those people, I'll play devil's advocate:


A transmission commonly known as a "slushbox". One of the most pointless creations that man has ever conceived.

Slushbox is an older term that was most likely coined because of displeasure with some of the older automatics that weren't exactly crisp shifting. There's really nothing pointless about an automatic transmission. In fact, automatic transmissions are probably one of the biggest major changes to the automobile that won favor with the majority of buyers.



Automatic transmissions essentially limit the amount of control one has over the engine, decrease awareness of driving, and shift like concrete in a blender.


Some automatics are quite good at allowing the driver to have control over the engine, assuming that we're talking about engine RPM. I'm not sure how concrete in a blender shifts, but I'm quite sure that a modern automatic doesn't shift anything like that. :lol:

But slower.

Not anymore. In most cases, an automatic is the faster choice. Why? Well, for one thing, there are lots of new cars with automatics transmissions that have more than 6 gears. In fact, 8-speed automatics aren't uncommon. The gearing advantage is one reason why an automatic may be faster than the manual version of the same car.

Automatic drivers can be spotted either with both hands on the wheel or both hands on the kids at all times.

Both hands on the wheel at all times is a good thing, no?

Or asleep.

Not much to say there. Falling asleep while driving isn't a good idea regardless of transmission type.

Americans have unfortunately become dependent on automatic transmissions.

That's because most Americans like convenience. And most Americans aren't car enthusiasts. Put those two things together and it is easy to understand why automatics are so popular in the U.S.

This is half the reason why they suck at driving.

So what's the other half reason?

Jesus would drive a manual.

Jesus was a carpenter. So he'd probably drive a full size pick-up truck. And today, we all know it's really hard to find a pick-up with a manual transmission. So odds are good that he'd actually drive an automatic. Besides, it would be hard to drive a stick with those holes in his hands. :lol:
Image
User avatar
bk7794
Master Standardshifter
Posts: 1561
Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2011 3:16 am
Cars: 00 Civic (Stock)
Location: Central CT

Re: Sensible commentary on automatic transmissions

Post by bk7794 »

Shadow - The priests at my local school used to drive Saturns. Jesus was also a preacher so you could always get 2 cars!
2004 Honda Accord 2.4 5 Speed
1989 Ford Taurus SHO 5 speed
User avatar
ClutchFork
Master Standardshifter
Posts: 1935
Joined: Wed Mar 06, 2013 2:55 pm
Cars: 2008 Fusion 2.3L manual
Location: Detroit MI

Re: Sensible commentary on automatic transmissions

Post by ClutchFork »

Shadow wrote:
I realize that's a joke, but I also believe there are people who think like that. For those people, I'll play devil's advocate:
Of course it is a joke but I figured this is the place to have a little fun. Any other site and I'd come under fire quite quckly.

A transmission commonly known as a "slushbox". One of the most pointless creations that man has ever conceived.

Slushbox is an older term that was most likely coined because of displeasure with some of the older automatics that weren't exactly crisp shifting. There's really nothing pointless about an automatic transmission. In fact, automatic transmissions are probably one of the biggest major changes to the automobile that won favor with the majority of buyers.
Yep, definitely has its points: sales, simplicity (for the driver, not the transmission), handicapped access to driving, learning to drive.

Automatic transmissions essentially limit the amount of control one has over the engine, decrease awareness of driving, and shift like concrete in a blender.


Some automatics are quite good at allowing the driver to have control over the engine, assuming that we're talking about engine RPM. I'm not sure how concrete in a blender shifts, but I'm quite sure that a modern automatic doesn't shift anything like that. :lol:
What I find it that automatics do things for you in a way you would not do them if you had the choice. Also, I don't like modern automatics, but prefer the older ones, like the 3-speed in my 1999 Plymouth Voyager or even the vacuum modulated one in my 1993 Aerostar.
But slower.

Not anymore. In most cases, an automatic is the faster choice. Why? Well, for one thing, there are lots of new cars with automatics transmissions that have more than 6 gears. In fact, 8-speed automatics aren't uncommon. The gearing advantage is one reason why an automatic may be faster than the manual version of the same car.
I won't argue the point, but there is a whole lot more to go wrong with them, like in my 2005 Mountaineer that was poorly designed and so delays downshifting and will slam into gear once it does go in. Not good for pulling out into the fast lane.
Automatic drivers can be spotted either with both hands on the wheel or both hands on the kids at all times.

Both hands on the wheel at all times is a good thing, no?
The author missed it here, he should have said, one hand on the cell phone and the other on a coke. :)
Or asleep.

Not much to say there. Falling asleep while driving isn't a good idea regardless of transmission type.
Usually has catastrophic effects. I fell asleep once on a long trip and was saved by the rumble strip.
Americans have unfortunately become dependent on automatic transmissions.

That's because most Americans like convenience. And most Americans aren't car enthusiasts. Put those two things together and it is easy to understand why automatics are so popular in the U.S.
Yep, and the marketing people just feed those desires, milking them for all they can get.
Jesus would drive a manual.

Jesus was a carpenter. So he'd probably drive a full size pick-up truck. And today, we all know it's really hard to find a pick-up with a manual transmission. So odds are good that he'd actually drive an automatic. Besides, it would be hard to drive a stick with those holes in his hands. :lol:
Chances are Jesus would have a very old truck, perhaps a hand me down (he was not here to live in luxury), and it might even have a column shifted manual transmission. :D
Stick shiftin since '77
theholycow wrote:Why in the world would you even want to be as smooth as an automatic? Might as well just drive an automatic...
Rope-Pusher
Master Standardshifter
Posts: 11607
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 3:44 pm
Cars: '08 Jeep Liberty
Location: Greater Detroit Area

Re: Sensible commentary on automatic transmissions

Post by Rope-Pusher »

He didn't like to brag about it, or take sides and promote one brand over all others, but nonetheless, Jesus drove a Honda.
Image
'08 Jeep Liberty 6-Speed MT - "Last of the Mohicans"
User avatar
ClutchFork
Master Standardshifter
Posts: 1935
Joined: Wed Mar 06, 2013 2:55 pm
Cars: 2008 Fusion 2.3L manual
Location: Detroit MI

Re: Sensible commentary on automatic transmissions

Post by ClutchFork »

Some commentary on transmission that I found on a web page (no attempt to cite the authors, but you can google part of the text and find the quotes):
I have always driven sticks, excepting one vehicle. I'll never make that error again. An automatic isn't too bad on the highway, but around town? Shoot me. (yes, I've lived in places with heavy freeway traffic, long traffic jams, steep hills, yada yada. I find automatics even more disconcerting in traffic, with the idling engine constantly trying to push me into the car ahead. )
As for me, I'll only drive a manual that includes three pedals and a stick. Flappy paddles have no place in my driveway. I've never driven in a situation where I thought, "Gosh, I wish I had an automatic transmission right now," but I've sure been in a lot of situations with my wife's vehicles where I've wished her car had a manual transmission instead of a slushbox.
I prefer the MT in traffic, as I don't have to ride the brake constantly. I just slip it into neutral whenever I don't need thrust. When at a stop, the AT car has a vibration transmitted to the body that is objectionable. You could shift to neutral at stoplights, but then it defeats the purpose of the AT.
I spent a month back in Jan-Feb in DC, and had an automatic rental car. I HATED it! I'm used to congested city driving with a stick, and the automatic drove me mad - constantly straining against the brakes when stopped, unpredictable shifts, a "one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand, three-one-thou" delay before kicking down. When I'm in a heavy traffic, I want the confidence of knowing that I have full control over the power delivery, and automatics simply don't give me that. I've driven all over LA, San Fran, Vegas, etc. with a stick shift and the hills and traffic never bothered me a bit.
In closing, I admit to driving automatic quite a lot as I only own one manual transmission vehicle, my Ranger. The automatic in the 1999 Plymouth Voyager is pretty impressive. Does what it is supposed to do and does it well. Not so for the Mountaineer. My motorhome's automatic is quite well behaved too. But given the choice (no other drivers who want automatics) I'll take a stick. Even to pull a boat out of the water. Rock climbing I won't do (makes no sense to me) but would be a good situation for an automatic.
Stick shiftin since '77
theholycow wrote:Why in the world would you even want to be as smooth as an automatic? Might as well just drive an automatic...
User avatar
ClutchFork
Master Standardshifter
Posts: 1935
Joined: Wed Mar 06, 2013 2:55 pm
Cars: 2008 Fusion 2.3L manual
Location: Detroit MI

Re: Sensible commentary on automatic transmissions

Post by ClutchFork »

Rope-Pusher wrote:He didn't like to brag about it, or take sides and promote one brand over all others, but nonetheless, Jesus drove a Honda.
Image
Good one, Rope! No wonder Hondas are such great cars, they have been making them for over 2000 years! Plenty of time to perfect them.
Stick shiftin since '77
theholycow wrote:Why in the world would you even want to be as smooth as an automatic? Might as well just drive an automatic...
tankinbeans
Master Standardshifter
Posts: 4029
Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2011 9:04 pm
Cars: 17 Mazda6 To, 18 Mazda3 i
Location: Shakopee, MN

Re: Sensible commentary on automatic transmissions

Post by tankinbeans »

InlinePaul wrote:
Rope-Pusher wrote:He didn't like to brag about it, or take sides and promote one brand over all others, but nonetheless, Jesus drove a Honda.
Image
Good one, Rope! No wonder Hondas are such great cars, they have been making them for over 2000 years! Plenty of time to perfect them.
As long as Jesus' Accord wasn't a V6 auto it should last until he rejoins us on this mortal coil. I've heard about the questionable transmissions in those with "grenading" a common description.

As for the urban dictionary, I think my brain just seized and flopped onto the floor.
17 Mazda6 Touring
18 Mazda3 iSport
InlinePaul wrote:The driving force of new fangled features to sell more cars [is to] cater to the masses' abject laziness!
Image
Post Reply